My cat gives me a boner
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
