why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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