i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
