But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
