guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I deserve this hangover.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
