Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't deserve a penis
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
