make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize