His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
