Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
