I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
