Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
