Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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