You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
