There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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