either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Randomize
