you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize