Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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