Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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