I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am spending my child support on dildos
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have fence marks all over my body
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
