dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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