did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My cat gives me a boner
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Girls should come with a carfax report
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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