thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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