Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
