Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
