people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
