but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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