i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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