Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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