Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
There r osticjed everywhere
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
