Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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