Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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