i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
farters have to be the big spoon...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
