porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
