YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
