im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My life is pants optional.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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