2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
