Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
