My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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