: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
