i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
