Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
