i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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