you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Me too!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I need to stop coming to work sober
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
