apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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