So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
