What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
