Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
