remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize