i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
