you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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