i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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