Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
