so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
it's like heaven, but drunker
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
