so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
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I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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