why didn't you poke me back
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
