Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
