can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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