Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
