whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's never too late to be topless.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
