That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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