There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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