LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize