help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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