You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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